Is it a good gift?
An honest answer, from a site that would rather sell you a book: unprompted, a book about someone's mental health frequently lands as a comment on them rather than as a kindness. Whether this is a good gift depends almost entirely on one thing.
The test
The one thing is whether they have asked for help in their own words. Everything else is secondary. Tick honestly.
If the first two are unticked, this is not a gift — it is a message with a cover on it, and it will be received as one. Hold onto it. A book refused once is much harder to offer again later.
How the same gift lands two ways
Identical object, entirely different event.
They have never named a problem, and the book names one for them.
They told you they were struggling and asked what might help.
Given at Christmas, in front of people.
Given privately, with a sentence and no expectation of a response.
Accompanied by 'I think this might really help you.'
Accompanied by 'I read this and thought of you — no pressure at all.'
Followed by asking whether they have started it.
Never mentioned again unless they raise it.
You have not read it, so it arrives as a prescription.
You have read it, so it arrives as something shared.
You are hoping it fixes something that is affecting you.
You want them to have something useful, and you can live with it doing nothing.
If you have decided to give it
Practical questions, and one alternative worth considering.
Which edition should I give?
Hardcover, if it is a gift in the ordinary sense — it presents as a considered object. There is a separate page on this site covering the practicalities, including what to write.
Should I say why?
One sentence, about you. 'I read this and it explained some things I hadn't understood.' Not a diagnosis, not a hope for them, not a list of what you have noticed.
What if they react badly?
Do not defend the gift. 'I'm sorry — I didn't mean it as a comment on you' and then leave it entirely. Arguing for it converts a misjudged gift into a fight about whether they need help.
Is there a better gift?
Sometimes a memoir, which builds understanding without asking anyone to learn a system, and reads as a book rather than as an intervention. Sometimes nothing, and offering to go with them to an appointment instead.
Can I give it anonymously?
Generally a bad idea. An unsigned book about someone's mental health arriving in the post is unsettling rather than kind, and it removes the one thing that makes it land — that it came from someone who cares about them.
What if they asked for it?
Then almost none of this applies and you can stop worrying. A requested book is simply a book.