Does it have exercises?
Yes, throughout — written prompts, practices and one substantial planning exercise. What there is not is printed space to write in, in any edition, and that is a deliberate choice with a cost worth knowing about.
The four kinds of work in the book
They ask for different things and take different amounts of time.
- 01
Written prompts, most chapters
A question at or near the end of a chapter, answered in a notebook. Usually five to fifteen minutes. This is the bulk of the work and it is where the difference between reading and using the book is.
- 02
Observation practices, chapters 8 and 9
Almost no writing. Noticing what happens physically before an emotion is nameable, over a fortnight. The lowest-effort and highest-return work in the book.
- 03
Skill rehearsals, chapters 10 to 16
Doing something — TIPP, opposite action, drafting a DEAR MAN script before a real conversation. Practised on small things first, deliberately.
- 04
The year-long plan, chapter 25
Substantial and almost entirely written. This is the chapter that turns the book into a programme, and it is the one most readers never reach.
What a chapter's work usually looks like
A representative shape rather than a specific chapter — this is the kind of thing being asked for.
- The situation from your own week that the chapter describes
- What you felt, in one word, and how strongly out of ten
- What you did about it at the time
- What the chapter suggests instead
- The smallest version of that you could try this week
- What you expect to be hard about it
- A date to look back at this
Practical questions
Including the two that decide whether the exercises get done.
Are there printed boxes to write in?
No, in any edition. Two reasons: a fixed box runs out at the point the writing gets useful, and a book full of ruled lines is hard to reread. The trade-off is that skipping is easier, which is a real cost.
Do they work in the ebook and audiobook?
Yes, and that is the upside of the choice — nothing was printed, so nothing is lost. The narration reads every prompt in full.
What if I skip them?
You get the mechanism chapters, which is most of what people report as valuable, and less than half of the rest. That is a real outcome and better than not reading it. It is worth being honest with yourself about rather than intending to come back.
How long do they take?
Five to fifteen minutes for most, and considerably longer for chapter 25. None of them require a quiet hour, which is deliberate.
Do I need a special notebook?
No. A phone note works and is more likely to be used at eleven at night. There is a page on this site on making a book work like a workbook if you want the structure.
Is this a workbook then?
No — it is a book with prompts. There is a full comparison of the two formats on this site, including who each suits.